Jingle Bell Hater: A New Christmas Comedic Monologue

in ,

Okay, if you had fun playing Tootsie Frosted Cookie Stockings and you want to play another Christmas Elf with a ridiculous Christmas-Elf name, you’re in luck! Check out Fluffy McWaffles Tart’s monologue here, JINGLE BELL HATER, from my new one-act Christmas comedy, Grinching 101. In this monologue, Fluffy McWaffles Tart explains his reasoning for signing up for the Grinching 101 seminar: It has to do with those “saccharine-stevia-monk-fruit-sugar-free” jingle bells! And brownies. And eggnog. It all comes back to eggnog…

This monologue runs about 1.5 minutes, is suitable for any gender actor, child, teen (or adult playing a young elf). You can find the play, Grinching 101, from which it comes, here. Enjoy and excerpt below:

Read More

New Comedic Christmas Monologue: Purring Sarcastically

in ,

So the issue of “do you dress up your cat” is a hot button topic for pet-people! Personally, my cat “dresses up” once a year in a burrito cape for about 30 seconds so I can snap a Halloween photo of her, and then, I take it off and we’re done. Not that she seems to care if the cape is on or off, to be honest! Well, in this new Christmas monologue, Violet definitely has strong opinions about her kitty wearing something.

When Violet arrives home from work, she’s horrified to see her dignified cat, Luna, dressed up in a holiday “ugly sweater” and matching Christmas-light tiara. As she tries to figure out who might have done this cheesy costuming to her precious kitty, and why (hint: Her boyfriend, Fred, is none too pleased Violet refuses to wear matching snowman sweaters, even though he knows she’s not sarcastic enough to pull it off!), she tries to take off the cat’s sweater. But Luna doesn’t seem to want to take it off… In fact, Luna seems to be liking it. Licking it. Even purring at it. Can Violet accept it if her couture kitty is now preferring Ugly Sweaters?

Read More

New Christmas Comedic Monologue: Forbidden in the Elf Manual

in ,

Okay, who wants to play a character named Tootsie Frosted Cooking Stockings? Here’s your chance with this new Christmas monologue, Forbidden in the Elf Manual, from my play, GRINCHING 101. In the play, Tootsie Frosted Cooking Stockings (let’s keep saying the whole name over and over!) is enrolled in a Grinching class for beginners and is pretty much failing every lesson.

In the monologue, Tootsie Frosted Cooking Stockings reveals to fellow classmates and grinching professors the reason he signed up for this class. (Hint: It’s all about the videogames.)

This monologue runs about 1 minute, is suitable for any gender actor, child, teen (or adult playing a young elf). You can find the play, Grinching 101, from which it comes, here. Enjoy and excerpt below:

Read More

New dark monologue: "My Motherhood," from the play, Knocking Louder

in

As Halloween rolls around, we’re all looking to add some more dark, creepy monologues to the roster. Here’s a newly released monologue from my absurdist dark comedy, Knocking Louder, that fits the chilling bill. In this 1-2 minute long monologue, Carol recalls the early stages of betrayal her younger sister displayed toward her… And how it’s all led to this moment: when Carol perceives Lilah is trying to take away the baby placed in Carol’s care. But there is no way Carol would ever let that happen. Nope. Nothing will stand in her way of motherhood.

This monologue is creepily fun and dramatic. A little weird, a little funny, a little sinister, a lot mean—while also tinged with hurt, bitterness and defensiveness - but also strength and resolve. Carol’s not the “good guy” of this play, but her intentions are not necessarily bad. Knocking Louder is a 3-person play which is absurdly funny, but also dark and tragic (also a good choice for some thrilling Halloween theater!). While absurd, it still touches on important political and social themes, which allow for discussion and reflection.

Read More

New Rom-Com Monologue: Head to Toe

in , , , , , , , , , ,

Sydney is on a first date. A blind date. And a zoom date during the covid-19 lockdown. Needless to say, she’s nervous—but she’s also excited to possibly form a new human connection. And during this date…her cat pees on the floor. Is her cat seeking attention, since he’s been the only one to get her affection for 8 weeks? And will her date wait for her while she cleans up the mess?

I wrote this monologue a couple of years ago, but for some reason, held onto it in the “laptop cave files” until today. Do any single folk remember what it was like to be isolated in a living quarters with literally no one else, except maybe a pet? Thank God for pets, right? Humans need affection, they need interaction, they need comfort and cuddles and touch. And while I ask “does anyone remember”—honestly, three years (or less) really isn’t that long ago…

This idea is forefront in my monologue, Head to Toe, although it’s sandwiched by a jealous cat who might be peeing to ruin Sydney’s blind date! Sydney is a fun role for an actor to play, or director to direct, as she has a lot of action (especially for someone on Zoom), coupled with humor, first-date nerves and excitement, as well as the poignancy of striving for connection amidst isolation.

Read More

Teen/Tween Monologue about Confronting a Bully from "What Happened at the Mud Puddle"

in , , , , , , , , ,

Have you heard the phrase, “hurt people hurt people?” It’s been used enough to sound a little cliche, but there’s truth to it. In my one-act play, What Happened at the Mud Puddle, our main tween antagonist is Taylor. She makes fun of others, steals boyfriends, hogs the spotlight, and acts out of spite in true “mean girl” fashion. She has a lot of learning and growing to do, well beyond this play. But even though she’s left a lot of people hurt in her wake, she has her own hurt and insecurity too.

This monologue takes place toward the end of the play, after Taylor has alienated all the guests at her extravagant yacht soiree and they’ve left to come to Chloe’s simple backyard birthday party. Taylor arrives at Chloe’s house—very angry and humiliated. Someone gets pushed in a mud puddle…And Taylor walks away, defeated. Chloe’s monologue recounts her final private confrontation with Taylor, where she realizes why this whole feud even started...and how Chloe is perhaps not entirely innocent either…

Read More

New Comedic Monologue for Unicorn-Lovers: CloudLily The Unicorn & Zoey

in , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Did someone say UNICORN??

magical forest with a unicorn horn and ears in bottom left. In blue and pink font, Title Cloudlily The Unicorn And Zoey. Subtitle in brown, A monologue by Tara Meddaugh

Okay, so there just are not enough monologues out there for unicorns! Right?? But here’s your chance to finally play one (I know you have always wanted to). Check out my comedic monologue, CloudLily The Unicorn & Zoey, which runs about 30 seconds to 1 minute long. In it, CloudLily, a unicorn, is talking to her loyal fan, 4-year-old, Zoey. Zoey has been visiting CloudLily in the magical forest and giving her super awesome gifts. You know the kind of gifts some 4-year-olds give you, right? Like…weeds…and clumps of dirt? So CloudLily is grateful. I mean, how could she not be? Zoey is an adorable child who is the definition of “pure of heart.” But…CloudLily also knows humans have access to some pretty cool things besides just, well, dirt. Check out what CloudLily asks Zoey for in the short funny monologue for any age actor (child, tween, teen, or adult!).

Also, gotta give some props to the inspiration for this monologue. One of my followers on Facebook messaged me he got a “Top Fan Badge” for my page. I gave him some virtual props and said, “you win!” He wisely asked me what he won. And I said, “hmmm…you or your kids can give me a topic and I’ll see if I can write a little monologue about it.” He told me his daughter loves rainbow unicorns. Well. Here’s your monologue, Zoey! Hope you enjoy!

Enjoy a little excerpt (and silly floating animated unicorn head video, as well!)!

CLOUDLILY  

(to 4-year-old Zoey)

Zoey. I love the dandelions and clovers and…clumps of dirt you keep bringing me every day. They’re all really cool and special and I know it’s super fun watching my magical unicorn horn turn them into rainbow colors and make them dance and stuff like that. But I hear—CLICK HERE FOR MORE

My silly floating-head-unicorn amateur animation of “CloudLily The Unicorn & Zoey.”

Monologue from "When Marshmallows Burn" Published in The Best Men's Stage Monologues Anthology

in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m honored that my monologue from When Marshmallows Burn has been published in Smith & Kraus’s anthology, The Best Men’s Stage Monologues 2022, edited by Debbie Lamedman. Did you know Smith & Kraus has been publishing anthologies of the best men’s and women’s stage monologues for over 30 years? Very cool! In my dark comedy/drama:

Sammy and his mom are enjoying roasting marshmallows over the fire under the full moon when something very strange starts to happen. Sammy’s arms look a little furry. His teeth look a lot like fangs. And he has a sudden urge to kill squirrels—and eat them raw. What (or who) else will he have an urge to kill? Is there anything his mother can do to stop him, or can she ultimately accept and love her wereson? Read the whole play here.

Missy Flower and Buchanan Highhouse in When Marshmallows Burn, directed by Nate Flower. Photography by @designbyraegan.

This is a play about a werewolf, yes. But moreover, it’s a play about a mom and her son. I recently read Celeste Ng’s new novel Our Missing Hearts and in it, a central mother character says, “But in the end every story I want to tell you is the same. Once upon a time, there was a boy. Once upon a time there was a mother. Once upon a time, there was a boy, and his mother loved him very much.”

This hits me hard.

And when I was telling my 2 sons basically the whole story of Our Missing Hearts, you can bet I was choking up relaying this part of the book (and then hugging them!).

When Marshmallows Burn is not only a dark comedy about a boy becoming a werewolf. It’s a story about familial acceptance and the love of a mom and a son, in the face of changing identity.

The monologue selected for the anthology (What My Fangs are For) takes place the moment Sammy has returned from his first kill in the woods. He is proud he found his late-night snack without troubling his mom for help. As he relays killing the squirrel to her, he realizes his mother is becoming increasingly scared of him and his pride turns to fear that she will no longer love him as a werewolf.

Sammy’s monologue runs about 1 minute long and is great for any gender actor. It gives the performer a significant journey from being proud of something new and exciting to being deeply worried and terrified to lose what matters most. It also lets an actor showcase both dark comedy as well as dramatic skills.

Debbie Lamedman’s foreward

I was so lucky to have an outstanding team bring this play to life for the first time: Missy Flower as the mom, Buchanan Highhouse as the son, and Nate Flower as the director (produced by Free Space Theater, in collaboration with the Harrison Public Library). We performed the play around Halloween, at night in the great outdoors, and this was an absolute amazing backdrop for the play, which takes place at night, in the great outdoors…

Along with Sammy’s monologue, this anthology includes dozens of other wonderful monologues. As Ms. Lademan writes in her foreword, “These pieces present great acting challenges, and actors will have the pleasure of sinking their teeth into this sublime material while continuing to perfect their craft in their online or in-person workshops.”

Click here to get The Best Men’s Stage Monologues on amazon. You can also get Sammy’s monologue, What My Fangs are For, by itself here. Additionally, you can read an excerpt here of When Marshmallows Burn, or click below for the complete digital copy of that play:

When Marshmallows Burn, a 10-minute dark comedy by Tara Meddaugh
$5.99
Add To Cart

Teen/Tween Monologue about Bullying and Fitting In from “What Happened at the Mud Puddle”

in , , , , , , ,

In my one-act play, What Happened at the Mud Puddle, Taylor, resident mean/popular girl, is creating a whole lot of uncomfortable drama for her entire grade. By the end of the play, we’ll realize, not everyone is quite as straight-forward as they seem (including Taylor), and the line of who is “mean” and who is “nice” sometimes get a little blurred in middle-school… What Happened at the Mud Puddle is a comedy that runs around 25 minutes, with a nice ensemble cast of 12 roles (8 female, 4 male). It has a lot of great monologues, so while it’s good in-person theater, it also transitions easily to zoom or virtual productions.

In this monologue, we learn about Amanda. Amanda is new to this middle school and it doesn’t take long for Taylor to humiliate her in front of the whole cafeteria. So why does Amanda still want to go to Taylor’s party?

Amanda’s monologue runs about 2 minutes. You can read an excerpt of Amanda’s monologue below and you can read the whole play, published by YouthPLAYS here.

Read More

The Reason I'm Single: Included in "10 Female Monologues from Love Sick Characters" Theatre Nerds

in , , , , , , ,

We’re less than a month away from Valentine’s Day and I know y’all have seen all that pink-heart stuff in CVS the moment the Christmas stuff went on sale! On this “love note”, I’m happy my piece, The Reason I’m Single, was included in this collection from Theatre Nerds of 10 Female Monologues From Love Sick Characters (Ashleigh Gardner). About the collection, Gardner writes:

Competition and audition season is quickly approaching! Have you found your monologue yet? If not, we have you covered. Below are 10 monologues (5 dramatic and 5 comedic) from love-sick female characters who have a bone to pick with love.

In my comedic/dramatic monologue, The Reason I’m Single, Rebecca finally admits to her friend, Kelly, why she doesn’t have a boyfriend. And it’s not why Kelly thinks… As of this post, PerformerStuff is the only place you can get the monologue too (you can read an excerpt and more info there).

Hope you’re not lovesick for real, but it’s good theater playing someone who is!

New 30-Second Monologue About Trust from Pitfalls and Treasures

in , , , , , , , , , , ,

My play, Pitfalls and Treasures, is a dark comedy/drama about two loner seagulls finding each other, and forming a kind of reliance, trust, friendship. Each has been ostracized from their former flock, but their response to the pain of being pushed out is very different. Andrew remains open, friendly, trusting, hoping for the best. Mary is more jaded and skeptical (“one bitten, twice shy” kinda situation). But now Andrew has twine wrapped around his foot and no one has stopped to help him except Mary. As the two search a littered parking lot for objects that might be used to cut off the twine from his leg, Mary points out dangerous litter (like chewing gum) which might appear treasures to Andrew if he is not careful. Andrew’s gratitude for Mary’s help is immense and he marvels at how he has even survived without her. In this monologue, Mary warns him not to be too trusting of her—or anyone for that matter, as she gets lost in thoughts from her own experience.

This is a 30-second contemporary monologue for a female actor, from late teens to any age adult. You can enjoy a short excerpt below, get the free monologue here, or the entire play here.

Read More

1-Minute Monologues

in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

One-minute monologues are an important way to make a quick impression to agents, casting directors, schools/colleges/universities. While longer monologues definitely have their place, sometimes actors are required to stick with showing their chops in less than 60 seconds. One-minute monologues also fairly easy to memorize because, well, obviously, they’re short, and they work well for younger actors who may not be ready for a 2-minute monologue or longer. One-minute monologues are also great to perform in festivals, competitions or classes, and an accessible way for actors to hone their craft privately or with a coach.

Having only 1 minute to showcase yourself as an actor can be a bit daunting though, so I’ve started a new page of my 1-minute monologues to make things a little bit easier for actors. These monologues have story and character arc, even if short, and they help actors showcase versatility and evoke emotion from their audience. There are dramatic 1-minute monologues, comedic 1-minute monologues, 1-minute monologues for women, men, any gender, teens and children. From candy-inspired monologues for kids to mean girl monologues for teens to hopeful love or scorned love—these 35 monologues allow actors to dig into complexities and give a memorable performance, in one minute.

Read More

A Post-Christmas Tooth Fairy Monologue

in , , , , , ,

My child recently endured a pretty long wait time (like, we’re talking dial-up modem long wait time!) for the Tooth Fairy to come and retrieve his tooth. It sat in a ziplock bag under his pillow for a night or two, then he moved it to the cat tree next to his bed, where it remained (our cat didn’t seem to mind) for the next…um… was it 4 weeks or so? During that time, he lost a second tooth (which he accidentally sent down the kitchen sink drain), and his first tooth oddly split in two while inside the baggie (I have never heard of that! Have you??). When the kids in my theater class were talking about losing a tooth one day, I commented on how the tooth fairy had still not come to retrieve my son’s tooth after several weeks.
(CLICK here for monologue. Click “read more” below for continued post)

Read More

30-Second Monologues

in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

While not as common, these bite-sized monologues can come in handy! So I’ve started a new page solely devoted to these 30-second monologues. Finding an impactful monologue that is less than 1 minute can be challenging. You want to convey engaging emotion, a bit or story and arc, and hopefully have a powerful opening and closing line. This is not easy in such a short time! But I’m up for the challenge and I know you, as actors/directors, are up for that too! So enjoy my growing list of memorable little monologues that can leave your mark in only 30 seconds.

Read More

Holiday Treats: Plays, Monologues, Movies and…Chocolates!

in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It’s December 1st, friends! That means I can whip out our family’s 2022 Advent Calendars! Which would you choose? 1) Funko Marvel 2) Chocolates in a penguin 3) Cocktail truffles? Hm… Mind you, young folks, my advent calendar as a kid consisted of opening a door on Santa’s sleigh and the reward was viewing a drawing of a toy! And I had to rotate every third day, sharing with my 2 brothers. Ah, but since we didn’t know what chocolates we were missing, that paper sleigh was still so sweet.

December 1 also means that I can post sans judgment about all the fun Christmas and Holiday theater you’ve been emailing me about and downloading since August! And personally, I’m fine thinking Christmas in August—because holiday theater takes some prep. Auditions for Christmas plays started months ago, and seasonal rehearsals don’t rehearse themselves a week before they open, right?

Read More

Dramatic and Comedic pieces for Halloween Monologue Competitions

in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

If you’re looking for a great monologue to use in a Halloween Monologue Competition, check out the monologues below, beginning with creepy Halloween monologues, followed by comedic Halloween monologues. Monologues range from 1 minute to 10 minutes, children, teen and adult.

Read More

"Forgiveness and Defeat At a Pokemon Gym" and "If I Were A Flower" included in Performer Stuff's list of 10 "Monologues for Carefree Kids"

in , , , , , , , , ,

Happy to have two of my pieces (Forgiveness and Defeat at Pokemon Gym and If I Were A Flower) featured in Performer Stuff’s collection of 10 Monologues for Carefree Kids (article written by Amanda Grace).

Read More

Summer Monologues

in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

If you’re looking to beat (or lean into!) the heat of the season with a summer-themed monologue, check out this list of 17 monologues that go along nicely with Summertime. Whether it’s someone’s connection to growing veggies, a safari vacation that goes amiss (in all the coolest ways), seeing a lame mermaid at the beach, pushing someone in a mud puddle, spooky things that happen in the woods at night, or ice cream your dog can’t have—enjoy these 17 comedic, dramatic, thriller, teen and children’s monologues that are great for Summer!

Read More