Yes, it’s 90 degrees where I am, but I also know theaters are planning holiday shows already! So check out my list of memorable and unique One-Act Christmas Plays, all of which are straight plays—no musicals. The plays range from children’s theater with a 16+ ensemble cast in a Grinching 101 class to an existential 2-person play about Christmas Trees for teens and adults. Enjoy!
Read MoreHappy Christmas in July!
I can always tell when it’s Christmas production audition time as I begin getting a slew of Christmas monologue sales here! Well! Enjoy browsing Christmas monologues during this intense heat, and if you’re considering producing a short but sophisticated Christmas play for 2 strong actors, with a bit of humor, and a bit of drama, check out my new play, TWO CHRISTMAS TREES ON THEIR WAY TO THE GREAT PYRAMID OF GIZA. While yes, the 2 characters are talking Christmas Trees, this isn’t exactly a children’s play. It’s touching and charming and has funny moments; but it’s also about our short time on Earth, what we leave behind, what we choose to do with time we have, and whom we choose to spend those precious years—or minutes—with (think the musicians playing as the Titanic goes down…). All told through the voices of two Douglas Firs. So what exactly is this play o’ trees about?
Dear Tree and Darling Tree have lived the past 8 years side-by-side on the Christmas Tree Farm. But as the family with matching Santa hats (and an axe) keeps checking them out, they realize a hard truth: one of them is going to be chopped down. Now. Will they live on together as stumps in the ground, or will they be separated to live as Christmas Trees in people’s homes before dying out completely? And is there any way they can escape this impending fate?
Check the play and excerpt here, and click below for more—
Read MoreSo here’s a new comedic Christmas monologue for men that, when I read it to my husband, made him laugh out loud at the final line. Not an easy feat for that audience! WHACK THE CHRISTMAS TREE, MAN, is a short and, well…not-exactly-sweet, but still pretty-fun, Christmas monologue to perform. In the monologue, Robert is at a Christmas Tree Farm and explains to his friend the right way to chop down a Christmas Tree (they don’t call it “chopping down a tree” for nothing, right?).
WHACK THE CHRISTMAS TREE, MAN is a comedic Christmas monologue for men and runs about 1 minute. While it’s written for a male actor, as with most of my work, if you resonate with it, it’s suitable for any gender.
Read MoreOkay. I promise - at least ONE PERSON out there is going to feel heard in my new comedic Christmas monologue, HALLMARK CHRISTMAS ROMCOMS ARE STRESSING ME OUT. We have tons of things to do each holiday season, right? And these light-hearted romcoms are supposed to make us feel warm, cozy, carefree and jingle-bell happy, right? But what if we just. can’t. keep. up?
That’s what is going on with Scarlett! She has made a pact with her best friend, Maia, that they will watch all the Hallmark Christmas romcoms of the season and dish about them all! Sounds easy, right? It’s not to Scarlett! Especially when Hallmark pulls the ole “let’s do double features for Thanksgiving weekend!” Now she’s hopelessly behind and it’s time she come clean to Maia. Hopefully Maia can expend a bit of holiday grace and let it slide. Or maybe she’ll be like my real-life friend who is 10 movies ahead of me but thankfully gave me the rundown of the best ones, so I can skip to those and pretend I’m not failing Hallmark Christmas Romcom season. ;)
HALLMARK CHRISTMAS ROMCOMS ARE STRESSING ME OUT runs about 1-1.5 minutes.
Read MoreOkay, if you had fun playing Tootsie Frosted Cookie Stockings and you want to play another Christmas Elf with a ridiculous Christmas-Elf name, you’re in luck! Check out Fluffy McWaffles Tart’s monologue here, JINGLE BELL HATER, from my new one-act Christmas comedy, Grinching 101. In this monologue, Fluffy McWaffles Tart explains his reasoning for signing up for the Grinching 101 seminar: It has to do with those “saccharine-stevia-monk-fruit-sugar-free” jingle bells! And brownies. And eggnog. It all comes back to eggnog…
This monologue runs about 1.5 minutes, is suitable for any gender actor, child, teen (or adult playing a young elf). You can find the play, Grinching 101, from which it comes, here. Enjoy and excerpt below:
Read MoreSo the issue of “do you dress up your cat” is a hot button topic for pet-people! Personally, my cat “dresses up” once a year in a burrito cape for about 30 seconds so I can snap a Halloween photo of her, and then, I take it off and we’re done. Not that she seems to care if the cape is on or off, to be honest! Well, in this new Christmas monologue, Violet definitely has strong opinions about her kitty wearing something.
When Violet arrives home from work, she’s horrified to see her dignified cat, Luna, dressed up in a holiday “ugly sweater” and matching Christmas-light tiara. As she tries to figure out who might have done this cheesy costuming to her precious kitty, and why (hint: Her boyfriend, Fred, is none too pleased Violet refuses to wear matching snowman sweaters, even though he knows she’s not sarcastic enough to pull it off!), she tries to take off the cat’s sweater. But Luna doesn’t seem to want to take it off… In fact, Luna seems to be liking it. Licking it. Even purring at it. Can Violet accept it if her couture kitty is now preferring Ugly Sweaters?
Read MoreOkay, who wants to play a character named Tootsie Frosted Cooking Stockings? Here’s your chance with this new Christmas monologue, Forbidden in the Elf Manual, from my play, GRINCHING 101. In the play, Tootsie Frosted Cooking Stockings (let’s keep saying the whole name over and over!) is enrolled in a Grinching class for beginners and is pretty much failing every lesson.
In the monologue, Tootsie Frosted Cooking Stockings reveals to fellow classmates and grinching professors the reason he signed up for this class. (Hint: It’s all about the videogames.)
This monologue runs about 1 minute, is suitable for any gender actor, child, teen (or adult playing a young elf). You can find the play, Grinching 101, from which it comes, here. Enjoy and excerpt below:
Read MoreIf you’re looking for a one-act Christmas play for a large cast, check out my new comedy, GRINCHING 101:
Grinch professors, Sourpuss Fuddy Duddy and Killjoy Cactus Snarl, are pleased to find their Grinching 101 classroom filled with eager elf-students desiring to learn the art of becoming a grinch. However, the class of bright-eyed cheerful students are blatantly failing. Every. Single. Lesson. Are the elves really that dull? Are they actually trying? Or is there some other reason they’re all in this class…? And is there anything, like, anything at all, that maybe…just maybe… the grinches can learn from the sugar-loving, compliment-spewing elves?
Grinching 101 is great for actors of any age - children, tweens, teens, adults, and Theater for Young Audiences. There are 16 character roles and an unlimited number of ensemble elves, who have unison lines and actions; no matter how many people you’re looking to cast, they have a place here! All actors are on stage for the entire play. While some roles have gender pronouns mentioned, they are all appropriate for any gender casting and directors have permission to change gender pronouns to fit casting.
Read MoreWhaaaa? Did I miss 3+ weeks of Hallmark Holiday Rom-Coms because I was too focused on Halloween and, like, the rest of regular Fall life? Apparently! YIKES! Hallmark started rolling out its 2023 snow-filled holiday romcoms in mid-October this year (maybe that’s normal and I’m always behind?). I should have been more clued in, because people have been getting my Christmas monologues for months now. I love it! YES! Christmas theater and movies are here!
(And if you want to try your own hand at a holiday romcom, check out my “HOW TO WRITE A CHEESY HALLMARK CHRISTMAS ROMCOM.”
btw—I totally embrace “cheesy” for Christmas romcoms!)
So what can you expect from Hallmark this holiday season? From a planetarium to to an aquarium, fashion to photography, travel around the world (France, Scotland, Norway, Germany, England and more) and of course, a bit of time travel, a time loop, a magic pen and there’s gotta be at least a little bit o’ royalty — and loooots of stuff in between, you’ll get that predictable jingle-bell cozy atmosphere Hallmark is known for. Hallmark isn’t exactly known for their diverse casting of leading-ladies (have you seen the meme-calendar of blonde-haired, fair-skinned leading ladies from Christmases past?), but this year, they have some romcoms with different hair colors, skin tones, at least one different body shape, one romcom of two leading ladies who fall in love, and one Hanukkah romcom.
Read MoreSo…you’ve fallen in love with the Mall Santa. I mean, what’s not to love, right? (Well…) But what if you’ve never seen him sans-white beard and velvet coat? Can you be sure you’ve fallen for the real man behind the suit? Will you still be happy to share hot cocoa with him when he doesn’t smell like candy canes?
This is the situation Brandy, and her new Mall-Santa-Boyfriend, Kris, find themselves in. Kris is scared Brandy won’t love him when he doesn’t hold Holiday Celebrity Status anymore. He’s been dumped by women post-Christmas before. In the monologue, More Than Santa, Brandy has to convince Kris that she is not only attracted to his white beard (because, come on—that beard!), but she will keep on being attracted to him when she sees him for the first time tomorrow, December 26, not dressed as Santa.
Read MoreIf you’re a woman looking for a short comedic Christmas monologue, check out Christmas China That Can Only Be Handwashed. In the monologue, it’s Christmas Night. Daphne and her partner, Jamie, have enjoyed a large Christmas dinner with family. Daphne has lovingly spent many hours preparing the meal she knows Jamie will enjoy, on the Christmas China she knows Jamie loves. But now it’s time for Daphne to feel a little love… and it just might take the shape of someone else (ahem: Jamie) hand-washing all those Christmas plates…
This is a comedic monologue which runs around 1.5 minutes, and is appropriate for a female actor in her 20s-50s. Check out below to read and excerpt and to download the free monologue of Christmas China That Can Only Be Handwashed.
Read MoreIf you’re looking for a large cast Christmas play for young actors or young audiences, with lots of gender inclusive/neutral roles, check out Chaos in a Christmas Snow Globe. Yup, it takes place inside a Christmas Snow Globe, complete with Christmas Tree, train and ice skating pond. Designers can be as detailed or as representative as desired for this world which leaves lots of room for creativity.
The Christmas Gang loves their place of honor in 8-year-old Stella’s bedroom, come the Sunday after Thanksgiving when all the Christmas decorations are displayed, but they’re also getting a bit bored of the same routine. Luckily, they’re in a Snow Globe with Santa himself who has a pretty cool ability to evoke, oh, I don’t know…a little something called…
Christmas Magic!
Christmas Magic will bring some excitement to the snow globe, for sure! But what the friends don’t realize is that Christmas Magic has a mind of its own. And what it decides to bring is…um… well…
A Jack-o-Lantern (Whaaaa? Yes!) who has been pining away to join the Christmas Snow Globe for years! But can this Halloween decoration convince the Christmas Friends (especially the stickler Elf) that it truly belongs with them? Or will it be booted back to the dusty shelf? Enjoy this family-friendly one-act Christmas play about acceptance and appreciation.
This play runs approximately 20 minutes. The whole class, club, church or company can perform in this show! It has 11 speaking roles (9 gender inclusive/neutral roles, 1 female, 1 male), and an unlimited number of non-speaking reindeer. There’s some group singing (just “Jingle Bells” - don’t worry), opportunities for dancing, and fun scene setting. Check out the list of characters here.
Read MoreHave you ever wanted to spice up a traditional Christmas Caroling outing? Santa hats are fine and all, but how much cooler would you look if you wore…say…an astronaut costume? That is Sam’s small request in this 2-minute comedic monologue, A Case for Astronaut Caroling. But before he can sing into that awesome voice-changing space helmet, he has to convince his mom of his plan… Does he make a compelling enough case to win her over?
Check out my free comedic monologue, A Case for Astronaut Caroling. This monologue comes from the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Beleving in Blitzen (check out that play here. It has a lot of other comedic monologues). The character role is a child, so this monologue is great for children actors, or tween through young adults who would like to play children (good audition material for children’s plays). This role is gender inclusive/flexible.
Read MoreWhile some theaters and schools are open for in-person performances, there are many throughout the world which are not able to be open in this capacity yet. (We are all in different situations throughout the globe and my heart is with you all!) If your school or theater is looking for a family-friendly Christmas show which lends itself to social distancing or virtual theater, check out the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen. Since this is a monologue-heavy play, it allows for increased social distancing in rehearsals and performances and also slides more easily into virtual theater.
Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen is a comedy great for children, teens or young adults playing the roles of children. It runs approximately 30 minutes with a minimal set, and with doubling, has 5 roles (2 female, 3 male). Without doubling, it has a cast of (3 male, 2 female, 3 gender inclusive/flexible casting—but in reality, most of the roles can be gender flexible).
To four children, Christmas is no simple sleigh ride. Annie’s new best friend is a talking reindeer, and she’s not sure if that’s really okay. Sam is experiencing the pressure of being the Lead Shepherd in the church pageant. Dylan has a very secretive wish he hopes Santa can deliver. And Lauren needs to make sure someone is giving her little brother a very special Christmas. Experience the joys and challenges of Christmas through the eyes of these children in this monologue-driven one-act comedy.
Read MoreWho doesn’t love some good ole fashioned Christmas magic in their theater and film, right? Check out what happens in my new 5-minute monologue for a female actor (with the option of adding 2 additional gender-inclusive silent roles), Why That Walking Snowman Didn’t Like Me.
When Madison goes for a walk with her dog on Christmas Eve, she could never have imagined a snowman she passes by would come to life in front of her very eyes! I mean, talk about Christmas Magic, right? This is super cool. Her IG fans are going to die when they see this… But… Why does it seem the snowman doesn’t want to pose with her? Coming to life is strange. Sure. But not wanting to hang out with Madison is even stranger. Find out how this IG model and her adorbs rescue, Bailey, make sense of all of this, in Why That Walking Snowman Didn’t Like Me.
This is a really fun piece to perform! Lots of humor and action; it’s light and funny but also can generate thoughtful conversation about social media. Why That Walking Snowman Didn’t Like Me is a comedic monologue for a female teen through young adult actor. So if you’re looking for a solo performance piece for this holiday season, this makes a great fit. It runs around 4-5 minutes (always depending on performance).
This short play stands alone as a monologue, but if you’re looking to cast more roles, it also easily affords the option of 1-2 additional roles:
Bailey: A non-speaking, but puppy murmuring, wise reindeer-sweater-wearing dog. Any gender/inclusive casting
Snowman: The chill, nonspeaking, disinterested-in-social-media snowman itself. Any gender/inclusive casting.
Today on an afternoon walk, I spied a silver bell and garland on a friend’s railing, while another friend mentioned she saw a Hallmark Christmas rom-com last night. I’ve been receiving royalty requests for a Christmas play for a few months now, so I think we are all justified to be looking to holiday theater on November 2, right? In the spirit of the holiday season to come, enjoy a new comedic monologue, Santa Just Wants You to be Healthy:
It’s Christmas morning and Vita’s child, Cameron, has just come to her bedroom at 5am to complain that Santa gave him a boring orange in his stocking. Vita tries to make Cameron understand that Santa simply cares about him and is looking out for his good health and happiness. Knowing the orange is a bit less than exciting though, Vita encourages Cameron to dig down deep to find another treat—most likely something spectacular. But what her child finds is (d’oh!) not exactly what Vita had in mind!
This is a monologue for a female actor (could also be male), 20s-40s and runs about 1.5 minutes long. Check out an excerpt below:
Read MoreHere near New York City, we have had quite a snowy February! When we received half an inch of snow at the end of January, my son and I spent almost an hour rolling up shreds of snow to create a small snowboy. I think he was half leaves and mulch, but hey; we had a little snow and were going to enjoy it! Of course, if we’d only waited a few days…we would have found ourselves in a true Winter Wonderland! A Nor’easter gifted us a glorious 2 feet of perfect packing snow! Needless to say, making a much larger snowman after that storm took a whole of five minutes. Not even a week later, we found ourselves receiving at least another foot of snow, and there’s more to come this week.
So—our family has made some sort of large snow-army in our backyard, a snow Bill Cipher, a snow-slide and lots of mini snowmen. Going on walks in the neighborhood is a treat, as we get to take in all the awesome snow creations people have made around us (we’ve even created “Snowman Certificates” to leave on people’s porches). So yes, we have snow on our brains! And…since my son has been responding to fiction writing-prompts for his schoolwork, he gave me a writing prompt himself which has resulted in this wintery children’s monologue, Snowman Versus Sun. I also have to give him credit as he designed the monologue cover himself (his at-home-digital-design class with Mom: Canva!)
As the title indicates, the monologue is about that age-old problem: snowman v. sun. In this 1-minute free comedic monologue great for young kids, Titus takes on the sun directly himself. Do you think the sun will listen to him? He’s got a pretty big request…
Read MoreHoliday lights and decorations are going up EARLY this year! While live productions in theater are rare right now (what a surreal/hard thing to say…), many performers are turning to monologues as they gear up for streamed shows, classroom performances, or socially distanced live theater. Monologue-based performances allow actors to rehearse on their own, and lend themselves easily to a Zoom-style platform. Whether you’re able to manage covid-precautioned in-person theater or are using a video service, holiday monologues can be a nice way to keep festive theater on the mind.
Check out these ten (10) Christmas monologues below, plus a packet of additional Christmas monologues for children, extracted from my one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen. These monologues range in length from 30 seconds to 5 minutes.
Read MoreIt’s Christmas morning and Sam has a problem. He is outraged that Santa has, yet again, given him oranges in his stocking, despite his previous complaints that he doesn’t like them. Since Santa has not heeded his requests, Sam devises a simple plan that will teach Santa a lesson.
Christmas Kale is a one-minute comedic children’s monologue, for an inclusive cast (not gender specific). It’s suitable for children or pre-teens.
Christmas Kale is from the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen.
Read MoreOkay. It’s still September. SEPTEMBER. But I have been seeing social media posts and hearing friends talk about putting up Christmas trees and lights extra early this year. Not like, November 25 early. I’m talking September 25 early! And really, in this very tense, anxiety-filled, unprecedented, relentless season of our lives, who can blame anyone for wanting to elongate a traditional feel-good season?
The Christmas season is cozy, cold but warm; it brings us hot chocolate, eggnog and peppermint, calming lights, early dark evenings, soothing music, colors everywhere amidst a landscape of mainly brown. It is comforting and familiar, and those are two things that we all crave—especially now when both feel a bit out of reach. And so…you know what also brings comfort and familiarity around that time of year, right? Hallmark Made-For-TV (MFTV) Christmas Movies! Keeping pace with the Christmas trees going up in NYC apartments, they’ve announced their Holiday Season already! You can check out Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas line-up here. And don’t worry, Netflix and Amazon will have their own Cheesy Christmas Movies coming too (“A Royal Toddler Goes to Virtual Preschool” perhaps?), but I have to give props to the originator, Hallmark.
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