30 Funny Monologues for Kids

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From a child bored with her bedroom ghost to a wanna-be-grinch, from a kid taking extreme measures to get their ipad back to a child chastising their dad for eating jelly beans the wrong way, enjoy this collection of over 30 comedic and age-appropriate monologues for children performers!

These unique, funny, family-friendly, “clean,” but clever monologues range from 30 seconds to 2.5 minutes (depending on performance). The characters and arcs in each monologue are fun to play and give child actors (or adults in children’s theater or TYA) a great way to stand out!


30+ FUNNY MONOLOGUES FOR KIDS

A CASE FOR ASTRONAUT CAROLING
Can Sam convince his mom to let him go Christmas Caroling in his astronaut costume?
Details: Around 2 minutes, male/female/inclusive
From the play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen.

A WASTE OF A TOTALLY GOOD JELLY BEAN
Steven can’t believe his dad is eating his jelly beans that way. He implores his dad to stop and eat them “the right way.”
Details: male/female/any gender, around 1 minute

ANNOYING ALIEN
Having an alien ship land in Maleeha’s yard is not as cool as she thought it’d be. In fact, this nosy, noisy, hyperactive, slime-dripping alien is kind of annoying.
Details: female/male/any gender, around 1-1.5 minutes, comedy

BEGGING BLITZEN
Annie asks her new friend, Blitzen (yes, the reindeer) for a favor!
Details: 30 seconds to 1 minute, female/male/any gender
From the play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen.

BORINGEST. GHOST. EVER
Ayla is pretty frustrated the ghost who visits her at night is sooooooo incredibly boring.
Details: Any gender, around 1 minute

CANDY WRAPPERS AT MIDNIGHT
Adrian wakes up in the middle of the night and confronts his father who stands by the kitchen pantry, guiltily holding Adrian’s Halloween candy wrappers.
(NOTE: This is a shortened adapted version of the monologue, MY MISSING SKITTLES)
Details: Around 30 seconds, male/female/any gender

CHRISTMAS KALE
It’s Christmas morning and Sam is outraged that Santa has, yet again, given him oranges in his stocking, despite his previous complaints that he doesn’t like them. Since Santa has not heeded his requests, Sam devises a simple plan that will teach Santa a lesson.
Details: 1 minute, male/female/inclusive
From the play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen.

CHRISTMAS SUPERPOWERS
Dylan asks Santa for a very big gift.
Details: 1 minute, male/female/inclusive

CLOUDLILY THE UNICORN AND ZOEY
Cloudlily is touched Zoey keeps bringing her clumps of dirt and dirty grass and such, but she also wonders if maybe, sometime, Zoey could bring her, um, like, maybe a cool non-dirt human-gift? Like, um…maybe a candy or something? Maybe?
Details: 30 seconds-1 minute, female/male/any gender

COTTON CANDY ICE CREAM CONE
Yuri has to break some bad news to her dog. He can’t have her chocolate ice cream. But maybe if he stops chewing her shoes…she’ll let him have the cone.
Details: around 1 minute, female/male/any gender

FORBIDDEN IN THE ELF MANUAL
Tootsie Frosted Cookie Stockings, an elf enrolled in a Grinching 101 class, explains why he signed up for the class. Hint: It’s all about the videogames.
Details: around 1 minute, male (or any gender), comedy, child, teen, any age.
From the play GRINCHING 101

FORGIVENESS AND DEFEAT AT A POKEMON GYM
Benjamin hopes Evie can forgive him for unknowingly defeating her pokemon gym.
Details: male (or any gender), around 1-1.5 minutes

GRINCHING MOM: Max is caught red-handed taking his mom’s lamp into his room. He has a good reason for this, but it’s not what his mom is expecting. *Written by guest artist, 6-year-old Luke B.
Details: 1 minute, male/female/inclusive, comedy, children

HOW TO EAT SAND IN YOUR SPINACH
During 1940s WW2 time in America, young Ruby proudly tells her older sister how she got a younger child in the apartment building to eat poorly-washed spinach by telling her to pretend she was in a POW camp and had to eat dirty food.
Details: Around 1.5 minutes, female (but could be any gender), 1940s, comedy/drama
From the play, THE VICTORY GARDEN PLAYS and RUBY AND MILLIE & THE DYING CUCUMBERS

I DON’T WANNA BE A JEDI
Joel has to break some tough news to his Star Wars loving dad…
DETAILS: male/female/any gender, around 1 minute

IOWA IS GONNA BE SO JEALOUS
Ryan has had some bad luck on his South African Safari with his parents, including a near miss with a rhino. AND IT HAS BEEN AWESOME!
DETAILS: male/female/any gender, around 1.5 minutes

IPAD FURY
Justin threatens to run off with his mom’s minivan if she won’t meet his demands.
DETAILS: male/female/any gender, around 1 minute

JINGLE BELL HATER
Fluffy McWaffles Tart is an elf enrolled in a Grinching 101 class. He explains why he signed up for the class. Hint: It has to do with jingle bells. And brownies. And eggnog. It’s all comes back to eggnog…
Details: around 2.5 minutes, male or female/any gender
From the play GRINCHING 101

MEETING BLITZEN
Annie tells her friends of her first magical encounter with a reindeer.
Details: 30 seconds, female/male/inclusive, comedy/drama, children
From the play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen.

MR. SWIMMIE
Chloe has matured a lot since her pet fish died (2 or 3 weeks ago) and now it’s time to convince her mom she is ready for a puppy!
Details: female/male/any gender, around 1-1.5 minutes

MY MISSING SKITTLES
Sal confronts his dad after catching him red-handed with his Halloween candy.
Details: Children, comedic, male/female, around 1 minute

SANTA’S LOUSY JOB
Lauren tries to set Santa straight after his failed gender-specific gift giving from last year.
Details: 1 minute, female, comedy, children
From the play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen.

SHEPHERD SUPERHEROES
Sam explains to the Christmas pageant director why having his shepherd’s costume muddy right before the performance is actually a good thing.
Details: around 1 minute, male/female, comedy, children
From the play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen.

SKUNK MOMS
*Three (3) complementary monologues
Three sisters, Jenny, Alexa and Deirdre, try to convince their mom they are ready to have a pet skunk!
Details: female/male/any gender, each monologue is around 1 minute

TEDDY SHOULDN’T GO TO SPACE, by guest playwright, 8-year-old Dylan B.
Jackson tries to reason with the man from NASA who is there to take his dog to space.
Details: male, around 1 minute

THE MUD PUDDLE
Sophie has been pushed into a mud puddle two times already. Enough is enough! Sophie is ready to stand up to this bully!
Details: around 1 minute, female (male/any gender)

THE THING ABOUT MERMAIDS
Riley encounters a real live mermaid…but is Riley excited by this discovery or does Riley think it’s a waste of a mystical creature?
Details: around 1 minute, male/female/any gender

THE REAL VALUE OF CANDY
Fred is none too pleased with the low exchange rate of dollar to Halloween candy that his dentist is offering him.
Details: male/female/any gender, around 1 minute

YOUR CRUCIAN CARPS ARE BLOCKING THE DOORWAY, MOM
When Luke discovers his mom’s messy house in the video game, Animal Crossing, he proposes they strike a deal about his own messy bedroom (in real life).
Details: male/female/any gender, around 1.5 minutes

MONOLOGUE PACKET FROM CHRISTMAS SUPERPOWERS AND BELIEVING IN BLITZEN
This packet included 19 Christmas-themed Monologues extracted from the one-act comedy for children, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen.
Details: Monologues are for children (or adults playing children) ranging in length from 30 seconds to 3 minutes (most averaging around 1-2 minutes).